PrussiaxReader Awesome Pick-Up Lines

You straightened your leather jacket. You looked good, and you felt good, but it was still strange to go from your ‘Pavlov: That name rings a bell” shirt and converse to a leather jacket and black high heels. You sighed.

“Do I really have to do this, Eliza?” You pouted at her, but she was adamant.

“Yes. When was the last time you even spoke to a guy? You need to get out more.” She stated matter-of-factly. Eliza was the cause of your transformation. She had dragged you around your house, insisting on picking out your clothes and putting on your makeup. She did a good job, but you weren’t about to admit it.

“Come on!” She had you by the wrist as she dragged you outside.

---Timeskip---

You leaned against the bar with Eliza, looking down at your drink. Eliza looked at you and rolled her eyes.

“It’s not that hard, (Name). Look.” Eliza walked confidently over to a man further down the bar. The two chatted for one minute flat, and then she was back beside you, toting a card with his number on it. You scowled.

“Just go up to that guy there, and say ‘I lost my phone number, can I have yours?’” You looked at her and rolled your eyes. That had to be one of the worst pick-up lines you’d ever heard.


“I’m not saying that.” Eliza looked at you with her eyebrows raised and sighed. You rolled your eyes.

“Fine. Do it your way. Use some nerdy pick-up line, and see how it works.” You looked at her, starting to grin.

“You’re on!” You shook hands, and then you walked over to a cute guy sitting at a table. Suddenly you were really nervous, your stomach doing flip-flops. You considered just running back to Eliza, but she would mock you mercilessly. You steeled yourself and approached the guy.

You cleared your throat and he looked at you expectantly. “This is the girl you are looking for.” You did a jedi mind trick-y hand movement, but the guy just looked at you like you were crazy. You heard strange ‘kesesese’ laughter, and you turned bright red, skulking away.

You thought Eliza was going to die, she was laughing so hard. “D-did you really say that?” with that she dissolved into a puddle of laughter. You hid your face in your arms, trying to stop being red.

“I have to pee now, I’ll be right back.” Eliza burst into another fit of laughter as she walked away. You rolled your eyes and made a sound.

“Excuse me?”  You looked up into red eyes, and your breath hitched in your throat. White hair fell slightly over the man’s red eyes, and that smirk. You blushed.

“I just vanted to tell you zhat I’m Wesley Crush-ing on you.” You did a double take. Did he really just say… You wanted to fangirl squeal. You smiled and laughed, then put your finger to your chin, thinking of another line.

“I think you’re Dalek-table!” You were extremely proud of yourself for that one.  The man laughed a strange ‘kesesesese’ laugh, leaning on the bar beside you, and you realized he had heard you earlier. He made a thinking sound.

“Your beauty has pierced my heart like a Morgul blade.” You burst into laughter, your laugh infecting the man, who soon was laughing with you.

“I must need Occlumency, because I can’t get you out of my head.” You managed to get the line out through fits of laughter. This sent the both of you into fresh reels of laughter. After both of you had stopped laughing, the man introduced himself.

“I am zhe awesome Gilbert! And zhose vere some awesome pick-up lines!” You giggled. You were having a hard time believing that such a hot guy was a nerd.

“I’m (Name), nice to meet you! Are you German?” you sipped your drink, all self-consciousness melting away. You felt relaxed, not nervous like you normally did around guys you didn’t know.

“Nein! I am Prussian!” Gilbert looked slightly annoyed that you had called him German, which made you laugh again. You heard a sound behind you. You turned to see Elizabeta looking very angry. The frying pan hung at her side.

“Eliza? You told me to-“ she cut you off.

“Not this one!” You then got to see a hysterical pan-chase. Eliza ran around the bar after a laughing Gilbert, swinging her pan madly. Gilbert got ahead a way, and came over to you.

“Vill you go on an awesome date vith me?” You nodded, surprised and giddy. Gilbert kissed your hand, and then ran out of the bar, Eliza hot on his trail.